ONE LINERS ON FRIENDSHIP

Friendship

Post-1

Acquaintance is a person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.

A friend is one who knows who you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you become, and still gently invites you to grow.

A friend is someone that won't begin to talk behind your back when you leave the room.

A friend is someone who dances with you in the sunlight and walks beside you in the shadows.

A friend is someone who has the same enemies you have. (Abraham Lincoln)

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

A friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

A friend to all is a friend to none.

A good friend sees the first tear, catches the second and stops the third.

One liners, and funny statements to make your conversations more interesting: Insults (Post - 2)

Insults -Post 2

(The intention is more fun than insult)

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.

Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own.

If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder. It would be an apocalypse!

This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.

When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.

Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.

I used to think that you were a colossal pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.

I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.

 

Listen to Indian English: Humor yourself with Vipul Goyal

Mr. Vipul Goyal is an Electrical Engineering graduate from IIT Bombay.  Out of college, he founded the most Unique HR firm “Humorously Yours” which conducts Comedy & Entertainment Shows. He claims to be the only stand up comic in India who performs in 4 different languages,English , Hindi , Java and C++ .

Listen to him and it is practically Indian English with all its positives and negatives.  Humorously.

One liners, and funny statements to make your conversations more interesting: Insults (Post - 1)

 Insults -Post 1

(The intention is more fun than insult)

Believe me, when I insulted you, it was completely intentional.

I used to be pro-life until I met you.

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

Looking at you, I can already tell that 10% of the time, you're right every time.

When I look at you I feel...a million years of human evolution was such a waste.

Excuse Me, please don't interrupt me while I’m IGNORING YOU!

How is it that you’ve managed to live this long and not be demoted to a single cell organism?

You are not as bad as people say. you are much, much worse.

Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.

Talk is cheap, but that's OK, so are you.

Oneliners and funny phrases that you can use

Here is a list of one liners and catchy phrases that will make your conversations and writings more attractive.
This list is categorized according to to themes.